


Sometimes i wonder if he can see me trough your eyes

by sunshu



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making fun of rome too its not all angst i promise, North Italy has a bit of a crush on Yao, Not Beta Read, Rome is the italies father, btw i’m italian myself hghg i literally live in Rome, grieving together, nothing bad too, past RomeChu, tho its not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:55:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29108178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshu/pseuds/sunshu
Summary: Italy and China stroll trough Rome after quite a messy meeting and they have a rough talk about someone they both used to love.
Relationships: China/Rome (Hetalia), North Italy & China (Hetalia), North Italy & Rome (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Sometimes i wonder if he can see me trough your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! I just kinda... vented trough this fic too and its kind of messy   
> But like  
> We need more North/South Italy and China solidarity in RomeChu fics.... i need them interacting with him and grieving with him the loss of their father ;; also if u want to talk to me about the fic/RomeChu   
> My twitter is @serica_e!   
> Also aaaa sorry if i might not respond to comments, i do appreciate them but i just kinda forget

“Yao” 

The representative of China felt an hand on his shoulder and somebody softly, almost shyly call to him, it was not surprise when it turned out to be the Italian personification himself.

That boy has been bugging him a lot recently.

And Its not like Yao didn’t want to talk to him! its that Yao didn’t want to talk to anyone right now and was wishing to return home peacefully especially after that hell of a meeting.

He had an horrible headache and the Venetian boy was always so terribly  loud.

_ Well, try to let the guy down softly okay? _

“ Italy, what is it this time aru? Scared to go home alone boy?” Yao turned around to see him in the eyes and god, he was blushing furiously.

It was... kind of sweet actually.

( ~~Kind of bitter too~~ )

“No no! I just wanted to speak with y-you! And i was thinking to accompany you to the hotel so you don’t get lost you know?” 

Yao could not help but notice how nervous he seemed like, way too nervous!

Usually he was far more confident, only speaking fast if he felt in danger.

But he never was this way with Yao and even so, its not like Yao would never lay a finger on him, even in the war he was hesitant to do so, his comrades would make fun of him for apparently having “a soft spot for that coward of Feliciano” so surely if those idiots noticed, Feli would have noticed it too.

So why was he acting like this?

_ Was Veneziano in danger... or could it be that- oh no. _

_ Don’t think about that Yao, it can’t be and you know it. _

_ But still, if its true, make sure to let him down softly. _

“ Do not worry, i’m quite familiar with Rome, I won’t get lost.” 

I mean, it isn’t the first time Yao goes to Rome anyway, he never got lost before! What an obvious lie to get them to be alone,  pitiful .

He never got lost when it was  大秦， he wouldn’t get lost now that it became a pathetic excuse of a city.

“But when you visited two years ago we had to search the whole city because we couldn’t find you and you were late for the meeting, oh and yesterday, Ivan said you got stuck in the south of the capital while you were trying to find the hotel-“

Okay it might have happened _once or twice_.

But its not his fault that transporting in Rome was nearly impossible without getting lost!

He really asked himself how Romano managed to live here without going completely crazy.

“Well— Ayiah! Maybe you boys should think about improving your transportation system instead of lecturing me about getting lost and being late!”

So much for being nice. But there were three undergrounds and the majority of busses came late.

It was hell to navigate in, Feli couldn’t blame  him !

“Eeek— imsosorrysosorry sir—- but its hard to have good metros when there is papà Roma’s stuff all over the underground — but we are trying we are absolutely trying”

_ Yes, blame the ancient dead guy for your own faults. _

_ Good job Feliciano, good job. _

_ Maybe do not let him down that softly,Yao.  _

“ That still doesn’t excuse a bunch of other stuff, okay, I appreciate your efforts boy.”

The younger of the two, coughing a bit and still seeming visibly nervous, it did feel like he didn’t want to bore the older man, it seemed like he didn’t want to let Yao go.

It was.... nostalgic and he felt an obnoxious hint of sadness seething in his heart.

Goddamn it.

This really isn’t fair, is it?

“Thats why i w-wanted to come with you today, so you won’t get lost...again... i just want to help you, since i know how hard it can be to visit Rome...!”

_Awww how sweet! i take it back, he doesn’t deserve to be treated with cruelty and have his heart shattered in a million pieces._

_Let him down softly, yes, let him down kindly_.

“Thank you young man, then please do help me.”

Yao could feel the other man’s excitement and he felt content when the Italian took his hand, smiling widely as they went outside of the building.

His headache and nostalgia were almost forgotten in that moment, replaced by the Italian’s contagious happiness instead.

It felt natural, good.

And Yao found out that he didn’t mind the other’s presence that much, after all.

_But you can’t lie to yourself forever, you know why you like him so much._

_He was the treasure, the happiness of a man you once loved and still do._

_You can’t replace him like this, so let the boy down and be more honest, Yao._

But that moment didn’t last much and the sadness set in his heart once again.

Feli’s voice interrupted his self deprecating thoughts once again, the boy smiled wide and gestured to some very old monuments that were near the meeting building.

“Vee~ we got so lucky the meeting took place so close to the center, Roma is just so beautiful here! Look, this one is from the papal states! Oh and that one is from l’antichità~~! 

Rome was as beautiful as it was infuriating, Yao gave the city that.

Its representative was this way too, so wonderful but  such an idiot too ! The memory of their younger days made him sigh.

Even thinking about it made him annoyed, good.

And way too nostalgic, but that doesn’t matter.

“I always thought your city was lovely, i loved to visit here because of how magnificent it was. It changed a lot, but its still standing, great as ever, aru.”

_You wish he was standing here too._

_Maybe he would make this all less painful_

You could feel the longing in his voice and he hoped the other didn’t notice.

But he did, because Italy isn’t stupid and Yao isn’t that transparent.

Feli put an arm over his shoulder and softly patted his back.

“I... i suppose that the greatness of the city wasn’t the only reason why you came here right? You and... papà, he to- wrote that you two were close.”

Right were it hurts.

But still the thought that Julius could ever write about them.... it was reassuring.

It was impossible not to wonder what he wrote. How he would describe Yao and their relationship. 

Hopefully he said something good.

“We were, even if we were miles away, we admired each others from afar and were the most happy when we were together.... aru, our relationship was complex but we held each others dear nevertheless.”

He tried to held back the tears forming in his eyes, it was a painful memory how he lost him right when he decided to confess.

Yao knew the other felt the same.

Yet, he waited until he didn’t have a change anymore and it...hurts.

It hurts like hell.

He screwed everything up.

“Yao... he loved you very much, not like a fri-“

_ Stopstopstop . _

_I came here so i could break your heart boy!_

_You aren’t supposed to break mine._

_Just confess so i can let you down, go home and cry about what could never have been!_

“I know that! I don’t need you to tell me boy! I loved him as well even tho he could be one of the most dense, childish people in the world, i loved him.

Is that what you really wanted to talk to me about? About my mistakes?!”

Childish, he really didn’t have to snap like that, the boy meant no harm, he probably just wanted to throw some line like “ _but i love you now! Stop thinking about my father!”_

Wait that would have made him way more angrier-

He was also crying now, great, he couldn’t look him in the eyes but he knew.

Feli was too, it was a painful memory for both of them.

Yao lost his dearest friend, his love but Feli lost his  father.

He was probably mourning too and Yao had no right to act this way.

“Sir.. that was not my intention... it just that—- that...” he stopped himself, sobbed a bit and tried to regain his composure.

_I should apologize, god._

_It wasn’t supposed to go this way._

_Fucking selfish man._

“T-this was something that he wanted to tell you a lot when he was alive, so i wanted to tell you for him... and ask you if you could—- tell me more about him sir, i- know this i-“

Yao sighed softly, wiped away the tears and slowly brought the venetian close to him, he whispered an apology and let the kid cry.

They spent some minutes in that state and continued walking towards the hotel, in complete silence until the older of the two started talking again.

“I can tell you, that your father was incredibly strong, he was constantly sick yet he never gave up, i remember how even in the worst of health he would come to me, “ He said as they passed towards the colosseum, he looked at it longingly then resumed.

“You... are so much like him, your smile, your voice, your personality, they all always brought me back to him, especially the way you flirt with literally everything that breathes, he used to do that too.” Feli let out a faint laugher,  lovely , Yao eyed some ‘gladiators’ roaming by and was quick to point them out.

“Your father brought me there to watch the show once, i spent the evening making fun of how barbaric i thought it was and he spent it laughing and pretending to be offended... i would do anything relive that moment once again, to hear him laughing again aru”

_And to properly kiss him this time_.

When Feli looked sad again he held his hand, squeezed it in an attempt to comfort him.

“But you know, its been more than 2 thousand of years, the thought of him still makes me feel sad but i can be there, in Rome, without crumbling down, and that is progress, i can be there with you, the person he loved the most without falling apart and that is something, i promised i would try to look out for you when he died but because of grief aI didn’t respect my promise, i intend to do that. Even if its too late.”

_I will take care of you_

“ I’m sorry for everything Feliciano”

He took the boy in his arms again

_I guess in the end,there was not need to let him down at all_.


End file.
